The Expectations in Midlife are A LOT.

Lately, I've been thinking about something that I don't think we talk about enough…
Midlife is a lot.

If I'm being completely honest, I struggle with everything we're expected to be in this season of life. It often feels like we're supposed to be fully present moms, loving wives, successful in our careers, organized at home, the keeper of everyone's schedules, emotionally regulated, physically healthy, mentally strong and somehow still look like we've never aged, had babies or experienced stress. It's a lot, y'all.

Some days, it feels like the expectations are impossible.
And I know I'm not the only woman who feels that way.

Somewhere along the way, women were handed an invisible checklist that never seems to end. We're expected to remember every appointment, coordinate every family schedule, make healthy meals, support everyone else's emotions, stay on top of work, exercise consistently, get enough sleep, maintain friendships, nurture our marriages, manage finances, volunteer, keep a clean house and still find time for self-care. The list just keeps growing, yet no one ever tells us how we're supposed to do it all.

Then, when we inevitably feel overwhelmed, exhausted or like we're falling behind, we assume we're the problem. But maybe we're not. Maybe the expectations are.

I see so many women blaming themselves because they feel anxious, burnt out, tired all the time or like they're failing at everything. They wonder why they're gaining weight, why their patience is shorter than it used to be, why they don't have the same energy or why they can't seem to "keep up." But when I step back and look at the bigger picture, I don't see women who aren't trying hard enough. I see women carrying an incredible amount of responsibility and pressure while also navigating one of the biggest hormonal transitions of their lives.

Perimenopause and midlife aren't just about changing hormones.
They're often happening during the busiest decades of our lives, too.

Many women are raising children while helping aging parents.
They're building careers, managing households, supporting spouses, showing up for friends and carrying the emotional weight of everyone around them. It's no wonder our nervous systems feel overwhelmed.

That's why I believe health in midlife has to look different than it did in our twenties. Instead of constantly asking ourselves to do more, push harder or be better - maybe we need to start asking a different question.

What does my body need from me right now?

Maybe it needs more sleep instead of another workout.
Maybe it needs nourishment instead of another restrictive diet.
Maybe it needs strength training instead of hours of cardio.
Maybe it needs quiet instead of another commitment.
Maybe it simply needs grace.

Unfortunately - social media doesn't make this process easier. Every time we open our phones, we're surrounded by women who appear to have it all together. Their homes are spotless, their workouts are consistent, their businesses are thriving, their kids are smiling and they somehow look effortlessly put together.

It's SO easy to believe everyone else has figured it out.

But remember, you're comparing your real life to someone else's highlight reel.
Many don’t post the moments they lose their patience. Or show the pile of laundry just outside the camera frame. Many aren’t showing their moments of self-doubt, every hard conversation or every night they lie awake worrying about their family.

As a reminder…
Real life is messy. Midlife is messy too.
And that's okay.

I think we've spent far too long measuring ourselves against impossible standards instead of defining success for ourselves.

What if success wasn't doing everything perfectly?
What if success looked like having enough energy to enjoy your family at the end of the day?
What if it looked like feeling strong enough to hike with your kids, sleeping through the night, laughing more, stressing less and feeling comfortable in your own skin?
What if success wasn't about proving your worth through productivity, but about building a life and a body that actually supports you?

Because at the end of the day, I don't think any of us are striving to become perfect.
I think we're simply trying to become healthy enough, strong enough and present enough to fully enjoy the life we've worked so hard to build.

So if you've been feeling like you're struggling lately, I hope you'll give yourself a little grace. You're not failing. You're not behind. You're not the only one who feels this way. You're simply living through one of the fullest, busiest and most demanding seasons of life and you're doing better than you probably give yourself credit for. Remember that.