The Invisible Cost of Doing It All: A 6 Week Reset
This is a collaborative post by Dr. Michelle El Khoury, yoga, mindfulness & perinatal educator and founder of Yogamazia®, and Erin Trier, functional women’s health coach and host of the Empowered in Health podcast. It is meant to serve as general education and does not replace individual medical advice. If symptoms persist, talk with a qualified health professional.
You’re the woman who remembers it all. Literally ALL the moving pieces - for everything and everyone. From the appointments to managing the schedules, job deadlines, keeping everyone fed, anticipating everyone's needs and still finding time to hold it all together…
You’re the one everyone depends on. But the real question is - who's taking care of YOU?
For many women, especially mothers, the expectation to "do it all" has become so normalized that we rarely stop to question what it's actually costing us. And we’re not just talking about feeling tired or worn down. We're talking about the massive invisible mental, emotional and physiological load that women like you carry every single day.
This load often begins long before we even recognize we're carrying it.
Think about pregnancy, birth, postpartum, perimenopause into menopause. Your body goes through significant physical, hormonal and emotional transitions - yet somehow, the expectation is that you should bounce back in your body, get back to your routines, manage the household, care for everyone else and keep showing up like nothing has changed.
However - EVERYTHING has changed.
Your body has changed. Your hormones have shifted. Your sleep is disrupted. Your identity is evolving. Your priorities look different. And suddenly, you're responsible for meeting the needs of another human being while trying to figure out how to meet your own.
And here's what we don't talk about enough…
Motherhood doesn't come with an expiration date on the need for support, space or recovery.
Whether you're six weeks postpartum, six years postpartum or navigating motherhood alongside perimenopause, the demands don't magically disappear. They simply evolve.
Somewhere along the way, so many women have convinced themselves that needing space is selfish. That slowing down means falling behind. That asking for help means you’re not capable. That taking care of yourself should only happen AFTER everyone else's needs have been met.
And the hardest part is that this kind of load typically doesn't disappear when the kids go to bed, when the workday ends or when you finally sit down on the couch. Because let’s face it, sitting still doesn’t mean your body or brain is actually turning off.
So over time - guess what happens? The load starts to take a toll on how you feel from the inside out.
And that’s something we need to talk about.
We work with women who are pregnant, postpartum, or years into parenting and beyond, and who are doing what they believe are all the “right” things. Exercising. Eating healthy. Taking supplements. Trying to get enough sleep. Managing careers, children, relationships and households.
But at the same time, you have deep rooted symptoms. Symptoms that leave you feeling exhausted, wired, tired, defeated and totally unglued. And no matter what you’re doing - you’re spinning your wheels and managing things like:
Stubborn body fat that doesn't respond to usual habits
Debilitating exhaustion no matter how long you sleep or how much you rest
Anxiety, irritability and feeling constantly overwhelmed
Brain fog and difficulty concentrating
Disrupted sleep and waking up unrefreshed
Digestive issues, cravings and energy crashes
Changes in menstrual cycles and confusing hormonal symptoms
So, what do most women do when these symptoms show up? Try HARDER.
Diving into things like cutting more calories. Adding more workouts. Drinking more caffeine. Pushing through the fatigue. Piling more on your plate. Convincing yourself that you just need to be more disciplined and “get it together.”
But here’s the most important thing we want you to understand:
You cannot demand more from a body that isn't given the opportunity to REST and recover.
At the end of the day, the body doesn't separate emotional stress from physical stress. So when stress is persistent and recovery is insufficient, the combination is the thing that starts to contribute to the cascade of symptoms so many women experience. Pair that with hormonal shifts that we inevitably go through? And it’s a recipe for waking up one day and not recognizing yourself anymore.
This is why we encourage women to stop asking, "What else should I be doing?"
And start asking: "What does my body actually need from me right now?"
Whether it’s the final six weeks of the year or the first six weeks of a new one, the temptation is often to push harder. Finish the goals. Make the holidays magical. Keep everyone happy. Get everything done.
Or sometimes it can be the opposite. You’re burned out, over it and running on empty. So you check out, throw in the towel, call it quits and decide “you’ll wait until next year or when things settle down.”
But what if this year we found a better sense of feeling grounded? We took the pressure off of constantly doing more and instead, focused on just BEING more for ourselves.
What if, instead of adding another challenge, another expectation or another list of things to accomplish, we spent the next six weeks intentionally creating more capacity in our lives? Not through a dramatic overhaul. But through six small, meaningful shifts that support our physical health, mental well-being and relationships.
Capacity starts with presence. When you pause long enough to notice what you are carrying, you can choose what you actually WANT to keep!
Let’s get into it…This plan is built for the end of the year, and it works just as well as a January reset or any time your load outgrows your capacity. Start your six weeks whenever you need them.
Week 1: Stop Treating Recovery Like a Reward
Recovery isn't something you earn after you've completed your to-do list. It's a biological necessity. Your nervous system, brain, muscles and metabolic health all depend on adequate recovery. And no, recovery doesn't always mean lying on the couch!
It might mean taking a walk without your phone, getting outside in the morning, eating a nourishing meal instead of skipping lunch or going to bed 30 minutes earlier.
Your Focus: Choose one non-negotiable recovery habit this week. Start with 10-15 minutes a day of something that helps you physically or mentally decompress. Maybe it’s writing, reading, getting into prayer or talking with a friend. Whatever it is - commit to it - no questions asked.
Week 2: Make the Invisible Load Visible
The mental load of motherhood is the planning and remembering that keeps your home and your career running. It rarely shows up on a list, so no one else knows it exists. A load you cannot see is a load you cannot share. A load you can name is a load someone else can pick up.
Writing the load down is the first step in making room for it.
Your Focus: Set a 20-minute timer and write down everything you are tracking, at work and at home, including the remembering. Circle two items someone else could own completely. Hand one of them over this week.
Week 3: Stop Under-Fueling an Already Stressed Body
One of the biggest mistakes we see women make when they're stressed, exhausted and frustrated is eating less while continuing to demand more.
You start to skip breakfast. Survive on coffee. Grab whatever is convenient for lunch. Then wonder why you’re exhausted, ravenous or craving sugar by evening. It’s because your body requires energy and nutrients throughout the day to support muscle maintenance, brain function, hormone production and feeling well rested.
Your Focus: Build consistency with three nourishing meals each day, including protein, fiber-rich carbohydrates and healthy fats. Pay attention to how your energy, hunger and recovery feel and make adjustments accordingly. Your body and brain need fuel to function well.
Week 4: Release the Pressure to Make Everything Perfect
During the holidays, or any busy season, the standard goes up. Cards, meals, gifts, year-end deadlines. Each one is reasonable. Together they become a test you did not agree to take.
Stop measuring this season against last year’s version of you. Keep your high standard for your values and your key decisions, and let good enough be enough for the rest.
Your Focus: Finish this sentence in writing: By the end of these six weeks, I want to feel ____. Then drop one holiday expectation and simplify one.
Week 5: Reevaluate What Your Body Is Telling You
Fatigue, brain fog, poor sleep, digestive changes and stubborn weight aren't just problems you can solve by being more disciplined. They're actually signs worth paying attention to!
Sometimes the answer is improving your foundational habits. Other times, persistent symptoms deserve a deeper conversation with a qualified health professional about potential contributors such as thyroid function, iron status, sleep disorders, metabolic health or the menopausal transition.
Your Focus: Take inventory of your energy, sleep, digestion, mood, cycle changes and recovery. Identify what has changed and what you've been ignoring. Choose one meaningful next step, whether that's adjusting a habit or scheduling an evaluation so you can learn more about what your body needs!
Week 6: Build Support That Lasts Beyond The New Year
Support doesn’t arrive when you are ready for it. You build it before you need it.
Your circle needs more than one kind of person: someone who listens without fixing, someone who takes a task off your plate, someone with professional expertise, and someone who notices when you go quiet. No one person fills every seat.
Your Focus: Write one name for each seat. Ask one of them for something specific this week, and put a monthly check-in on your calendar.
The bottom line?
You don’t need the last 6 weeks of the year to feel like a rat race. And you don’t need another year of adding more to your plate. What will serve you most is finding a different way to approach what matters most because you were never meant to be everything to everyone at the expense of yourself.
Somewhere between motherhood, marriage, careers, relationships and the never-ending expectations we place on ourselves, we've confused being capable with being responsible for EVERYTHING. And just because you CAN carry it all…doesn't mean you SHOULD.
So whether it’s the end of the year or the start of a new one, ask yourself: Which of these six weeks do I need most right now?
Because the goal isn't to end the year with another perfectly completed checklist. It's to create a life where your health and well-being aren't constantly getting whatever is left over. Take care of yourself, prioritize yourself, pour into yourself. Running on empty is no way to live.
About the authors
Erin Trier is a functional women’s health coach, the creator of The E.M.P.O.W.E.R. Method and the host of the Empowered in Health podcast. Her work is focused around helping health-conscious moms in perimenopause go from feeling defeated to understanding their changing bodies so they can feel strong and energized the way they deserve. If you want a place to start, her free Breaking Through The Midlife Midsection guide gives great insight into female physiology, what’s changing and how to recalibrate for long term health. Learn more at erintrier.com.
Dr. Michelle El Khoury is the founder of Yogamazia® and creator of The S.M.A.R.T. Journey to Parenting®. She offers yoga, mindfulness, and doula support that helps women, families and organizations navigate the transition to parenthood and the seasons of change that follow so they can lead with more presence. If you want a place to start, her free 5 Days to Greater Presence email series offers a brief mindfulness practice for each day. Learn more at yogamazia.com.