The Lie of "Being Good" with Food
Women have been set-up to fail for decades. Why? Because we were never taught that health is about nourishment, strength and longevity.
Instead, we were duped into believing that health was about obedience.
To food rules, to shrinking, to hunger being ignored.
And beyond that - we started to label that obedience as “being good.”
Like we were behaving for some specific thing/reason. And follow some arbitrary set of guidelines.
If you grew up in the 80s, 90s (like me) or early 2000s, “being good” with food had nothing to do with listening to your body. All it meant was..
Choosing the lowest-calorie options
Eating foods that looked like diet food
Avoiding fat at all costs
Pretending you weren’t hungry
Swapping real meals for “light” snacks
Feeling proud of restriction
The smaller your portions and the more artificial your food, the more gold stars you got.
And it led to this insane narrative around “good” vs. “bad” food. Leaning on “good” snacks like…
SnackWell's Cookies – Because if it said fat-free, you could eat the whole sleeve, right?
Special K cereal for dinner – A bowl of flakes = “staying on track”
SlimFast shakes – Replacing meals with liquid hunger
100-calorie snack pack – The official meal for busy people
Women weren’t taught to ask, “Does this nourish me?”
But rather - we were taught to ask, “Does this meet my calorie goal and will it keep me smaller?”
It breaks my heart when I reflect back. And as I raise four kiddos, especially two daughters, I’m more aware than ever before about how we need to understand exactly what nutrition is when it comes to the larger picture of our health.
Here’s what we didn’t learn…but what we know now and can DO/BE better about!
All of the good vs. bad narratives paired with low calorie, low fat, no sugar, sugar free, loaded with chemical “quick fix” snacks are one of the main reasons it all feels so confusing now.
And those diet culture rules did real damage:
Causing blood sugar chaos, hormone disruption, metabolic slowdown and disconnection from hunger cues.
We learned to override our bodies with rules, points and portion sizes instead of internal signals.
And then we blamed ourselves when our bodies rebelled. All for the sake of trying to be disciplined.
We were taught that shrinking was success, even if it came with anxiety, obsession and exhaustion.
And now? It’s NO WONDEY why so many midlife women feel like they don’t understand nutrition or what energizing, fulfilling, robus eating actually looks and feels like.
So what actually works now?
And always has?
Learning to support your biology:
✔️ By eating enough protein to stabilize blood sugar
✔️ By including healthy fats to support hormones
✔️ By building meals, not snack plates
✔️ By eating regularly instead of “being good” for a certain time frame and then going of the rails.
✔️ By honoring stress, sleep and recovery as metabolic factors
One of my biggest goals as a coach is to educated and empower women to understand that you haven’t been failing. The system has been set-up to fail us. And at some point - you were likely (or maybe you still are) following advice that was never designed for female physiology, long-term health or optimizing hormones.
Please know - there’s no “being good” when it comes to our health.
That messaging has kept women small, tired, stuck and blaming themselves for FAR too long.
Being well on the other hand?
That requires nourishment, regulation, strength and self-trust. All things you wholeheartedly deserve. I’m rooting for you, friend. The unlearning is one of the hardest, but most profound pieces to the transformational journey that is midlife health. Take it all in and do the best you can - one day at a time.💛