You're Not Losing It; Your Physiology is Changing!
Today is unpacking one of those things that feels harder to talk about when it comes to the shifts we feel in midlife. It’s the “thing” and the symptom that women whisper about and they’re most afraid to say out loud.
Because weight gain is visible.
Sleep issues feel explainable.
But when your mind doesn’t feel like yours anymore?
That’s terrifying.
I hear it all the time from women in midlife:
“Why can’t I think clearly anymore?”
“Why do I feel anxious, flat or ragey out of nowhere?”
“Is this perimenopause… or am I just losing it?”
Let me say this clearly…you’re not broken, weak or failing.
What you’re experiencing is not a personality flaw or a lack of resilience. It’s physiology.
What’s important to understand is that your brain is your command center. It’s how you think, decide, remember, regulate emotion and show up for the people and responsibilities you care about. So when brain fog rolls in or your mood starts swinging without warning, it can feel like you’re losing control of yourself.
But midlife hormonal shifts don’t just affect your cycle or metabolism.
They directly impact your brain chemistry, stress response and nervous system regulation too.
And no one taught you that.
So let’s unpack it. During perimenopause, estrogen and progesterone no longer follow predictable patterns. And instead of steady rhythms, they fluctuate, sometimes dramatically.
Here’s why that matters for your mind and emotions:
Estrogen is neuroprotective.
It’s wildly important for supporting memory, focus, verbal fluency and emotional regulation. When estrogen dips unpredictably, cognitive clarity often dips with it. Which is why it may feel harder to find words and think clearly.
Progesterone is calming.
It supports GABA, which is the brain’s calming neurotransmitter. And when progesterone declines - anxiety, irritability, sleep disruption and emotional intensity often rise. And become hard to predict!
Your stress system becomes more sensitive.
Cortisol (your stress hormone) can spike more easily and stay elevated longer, making small stressors feel overwhelming. And like small hills feel like MOUNTAINS to overcome. I know I experienced this - big time.
Blood sugar fluctuations affect mood and focus.
As insulin sensitivity changes, dips and spikes can trigger anxiety, shakiness, irritability and brain fog - often mistaken for “emotional instability.”
In a nutshell, none of this means you’re unstable. It just means your body is adapting.
Many women have shared with me that they don’t recognize themselves anymore, that they used to feel calm, sharp and patient - and now everything feels harder. If that’s you - know that’s not because your identity is disappearing. It’s because your biology is drastically shifting as it’s inevitably supposed to, but your expectations of yourself haven’t.
So at the end of the day - you’re likely still trying to function like a 30-year-old brain in a 40- or 50-year-old hormonal environment. That mismatch creates frustration, shame and self-doubt; especially when no one explains what’s going on.
Yes, anxiety and depression are real. And support matters.
But midlife emotional volatility is often misinterpreted as psychological when it’s biological.
So what are the simple things you can do to help yourself when these shifts happen?
I always recommend starting with the basics - always:
• Eat consistently and adequately - especially protein, fiber and carbs
• Reduce stimulation before bed (screens, late workouts, late caffeine)
• Get outside daily, even briefly
• Build in nervous system regulation (breathwork, walking, stillness)
• Stop blaming yourself for symptoms you didn’t cause
Most importantly: Stop gaslighting yourself!
Your experience is real. Your symptoms are valid. And your body is not working against you.
This is the time in our life where more compassion, more curiosity and far less self-judgment are a necessity. Because you don’t need to just power through this.
You need support that works with your female physiology. And you deserve that.
If this resonates, know this:
It’s not you. It’s likely just gaps in knowledge you were never given. So please know you’re right on time when it comes to learning how to care for yourself in a way your body has been quietly asking for all along. 💛